I’m about to finish this book by Lysa Terkeurst called Uninvited. I love a good, faith-based, inspirational read. It’s been so wonderfully honest and witty, which is refreshing. Reading about rejection isn’t easy, but if you’ve ever experienced it first hand, you know that anything that lifts you up is a blessing. This book ties it all in biblically, and nothing is a better guide for me more than God and scripture. Seeing rejection as projection as this book mentions, really makes a difference.
Rejection is tough to deal with, whether your a child or an adult. But it has its benefits. There’s a part of the book that talks about how rejection can be helpful to people. Now, I’m a special needs mom, so you know how I feel about rejection when it comes to my child. I know she faces it daily, but by saying rejection can be helpful, I’m in no way saying it’s ok to make someone feel less than. Not ever. But hear me out on how being rejected is almost always for our greater good.
We’ve all felt left out or alone at one time or another. As a woman and a mom, I’ve been on the receiving end of mean girls and mean moms more than I care to think about. Sometimes people don’t intend to make you feel disregarded. They honestly don’t give some people a second thought or they’re just busy in their own little world. But whether rejection is purposeful or unintentional, it can be painful. But what if we thought about that pain having a purpose?
I think that rejection actually serves as a defense for us. A lot of times in life, we have no clue what’s best for us. We think we have it all planned out. The right friends? We know how to pick them. A lifetime career? We know the best job for us. That love of our life? We’re sure of the right person for us. But many times we are rejected from our own plans and sent off on a new path, one we probably wouldn’t have chose for ourselves. Who knows what type of poor choice or what future hurt that rejection saved us from.
It’s not a coincidence when our plans don’t pan out. Some people and things are just not meant for us. Rejection protects our hearts from more hurt down the line. I like to think of it as God redirecting us in the way he had planned all along. So many times in life I’ve not understood why things and people have been removed from my life. I always thought I knew better than the master planner. Now that I have a daughter who deals with rejection sometimes daily, I understand that things were and are happening for my greater good. It pains me to see her dismissed so much, but I think about how much better she is or will be for not participating in a certain activity or for not being surrounded by certain individuals.
If we look at rejection as our protector, it’s much easier to realize that everything in this life isn’t always in the plan for us. This is a concept that is way harder for an eleven year old to grasp, but an important one nonetheless. Just like failure is part of success, rejection is necessary to fully appreciate and experience complete acceptance.
I’ll have to do my best to explain to our daughter that not everything is for her or serves the path she’s on. We will have to have a talk about mom’s rejections in life and how even when I was determined to have something my way, God saw fit to remove that something out of my life and protect me from more pain. He always knows better. I will have to tell her how hard it is going to be to deal with rejection and how often she will deal with it in her life, even more because of her special needs. But if she can learn sooner than I did that rejection is really something he allows for her protection, and for her greater good, she will be able to move on from those disappointments and changes of her life’s course that much easier.
To see rejection as our protection can be hard when it hurts so much. It’s even more painful to watch your child experience it over and over again. All we can do is pray that whatever is not for our betterment will be removed from our paths. We can pray for strong hearts that can withstand the heartache and the heartbreak to come. More than anything, we will keep our faith. We’ll do our best to remember and remind each other that we’re not in control, and smile through the tears, because that’s a good thing.