My Prince of Peace

At first glance, this probably looks like a post that will be devoted to my faith and to what we, as Christians, call the son of God. I don’t want to dismiss the importance of that name, so I will say up front that my belief in him and my strong faith has brought me peace throughout my life, especially in the darkest of times. In the wake of our daughter’s autism diagnosis, it certainly was at the core of how my husband I dealt with the loss of what we had planned for our child and embraced what God had planned for her. It has brought me peace like nothing else can or could. But this is about my other Prince that has brought me peace. This is a love letter to the other man in my life.

My husband Juan and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. Ours was a short courtship, dating for a year before we got married the first of three times. (I’ll just let that sink in for a bit). Yes, it wasn’t planned, but our journey was extraordinary from the get go! The one thing that always stood out to me when I met Juan was what a good person he was. He’s just the kindest soul and the kind of person that makes you always want to be and do better. Now, this is not going to be a whole story with me bragging about how I found the most perfect man in existence. We all know that’s not true because we all have our flaws. I’m certain my husband could easily make a long list of mine if he wasn’t so humble and kind. This is just the story of how I was brought the perfect man for me.

There was always something else about him though, besides his kindness. Something that I had no idea would become such an important support to me throughout our relationship and over these many years. Juan is a pretty laid back, easy going guy, who doesn’t worry about a lot of things. Put it this way, if he’s worried, there may be something to really get worked up about. He’s the calm in the storm. There have been few moments over the last 13 years that I have seen him lose his cool. I am, on the other hand, the polar opposite. If there is something to worry about, I will find it. I’ve been pretty uptight and not the relaxing type, not at all. My anxiety grew over the years after some difficult life events. I sometimes wondered how in the world someone so chill dealt with someone so not.

These days I’ve learned to manage my anxiety, but for the better part of our relationship he’s had to deal with me and my worries. He’s been the rock that not only complemented me in our marriage, but also kept us both steady. I really took notice of how much peace he brought me when we suffered the loss of our first child and the loss of my father simultaneously. Then again when our daughter was diagnosed with autism five years ago. I was totally lost and completely unraveled. Through it all, he was hurting too, but he always put me first and kept the peace for me in any way he could. I consider myself a pretty positive person, but most of my optimism in those days was gone and he always shined the light on all the good and on all our blessings. We all need those people in our lives that remind us that love can conquer anything and that bring us peace when we are struggling to find it on our own. He’s always been that to me… My Prince of Peace.

After twelve years of being married, it’s difficult to think of something special to give your spouse when we both really have everything we truly need. This year I didn’t even get it together enough to get a card (I know, wife fail). What can you really give the person who has given you the greatest love, who’s been the one very best friend a girl could have, who’s been the best father to your children, and who’s been the person to bring you constant peace over the last 13 years? The only thing I could think of was to share with the world how special this man is and how thankful I am for him. He has been my strength more times than I can count and he’s been beside me throughout this peace journey.

It’s been a bit of a challenging year for us. There are a lot of things and people to worry about this year, but Juan has been our anchor and our compass all at once. He’s brought us in the direction our family is being called to. He’s supported me in putting myself and my health first, along with the health of our whole family. He’s been our faith leader and has truly brought us closer as a family because of it. He’s encouraged me to pursue my dreams and he is my biggest cheerleader as I embark on some crazy new adventures in the coming year. Most importantly, he has focused on our blessings and all the good in our life. He has a way of shining his light and love on everything he touches and his family are always the first recipients of those gifts.

Thank you Juan for always reminding me that my peace is within. For being the one friend I can always count on. For keeping your cool and leading me out of some of the darkest tunnels of this life. For loving me through all the ups and downs. For supporting me and always lifting me up. For bringing me back to a place of peace every time I think it’s out of my grasp. For the great love of my life.

Thank you for being the major Peace to My Puzzle. Happy Anniversary Juan! I love you!