In just a few more hours, I will be turning forty-five and flawsome! Honestly, I still feel like I’m in my thirties. It truly is just a number, but it brings with it so much life and so many blessings!
There are a lot of mistakes I’ve made over the years and with that comes many lessons learned. Flawsome is a silly word I discovered on the internet, but it perfectly describes this point in my life.
I spent a good portion of my teenage and adult life picking myself apart. Some of it came from others, but a lot I directed at myself. My thighs and butt are too big, I have too many scars, my hair is too straight, I’m too sensitive, I’m such a doormat, I’m not smart enough, and the list goes on and on. We women can be too hard on ourselves.
I’ve wasted a lot of time worried about what people think about me, worried about what tomorrow may bring, and worried about how I was going to fix all the supposed flaws and problems of my life.
But it feels like everything started changing when I got into my forties. That’s when you really get to know your true self. I stopped tearing myself apart and started embracing everything about myself. I found peace in living more in the present and stopped worrying about what is out of my control. Most importantly, I stopped caring what other people think.
There’s always room for improvement. So part of my commitment to myself is to continue to grow every day. I have accepted all my curves and the beauty of each and everyone of my scars. In the last two years and partially thanks to hormones, I now have crazy curly hair that I can’t control (be careful what you wish for). I wear my heart on my sleeve and I say exactly what I mean. It may ruffle some feathers at times, but I don’t apologize for who I am and I don’t lay down and take people’s crap anymore either. I’ve realized how much knowledge I’ve gained over the years. I’ve explored my creativity and have discovered my strengths.
One more thing that I’ve learned in my fabulous forties is to say no. No to too many commitments, no to people trying to make you feel small, no to all the B.S., no to people telling me how big my dreams can be (thanks to my girl Rachel Hollis for that needed reminder) and no to pointing out all of my perceived flaws to myself and others.
There has been a peace lately that has been so comforting. Perfect peace doesn’t exist, but letting go of trying to be everyone’s idea of perfect and just being and accepting your own badass self truly brings you to a place of acceptance. When you’re not trying to be anyone else than your authentic self, that’s peace.
We were made just as we are, imperfectly perfect. Embrace your beautiful self, “flaws” and all. Because flaws are flawsome, just like turning forty-five is! All of it is part of your unique gift to the world. Don’t let anyone, even your own narrative, tell you differently.